Day 19 - Softening defenses

In this video series we’ve been weaving several threads together – grieving, frustration and self attack, futility, and alarm. These threads are all tributaries of a river, and that river is the healing process with food.

Most approaches to overeating and binge eating focus on behavior and how to use behavioral strategies to overeat or binge less. My approach is based on development, how you trace the food compulsion back to its origin in separation, and unwind it.

In today’s video, I’m going to weave those threads together and talk about the movement that spearheads this unwinding process – the softening of our defenses.

When we soften our defenses to feel our sadness and futility, we start to touch the original wounding that led to the food compulsion in the first place. We feel what’s underneath the self blame, self judgment, and self attack.

Yes, this is vulnerable. And in softening the defenses, something else arises. As the walls around our heart soften, we feel more of the love within our hearts. In other words, we don’t just feel more of the hurt, we also feel more of the love, and compassion, and tenderness of our hearts as they open. And this – this connection – is the ground floor of what we seek.

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