Day 8 - Inviting in the "unlived life" - befriending the grief underneath judgement

In yesterday’s video, we talked about how frustration can drive criticism, self judgment, and the comparing mind – and how there’s usually something very vulnerable and tender underneath. Today we’ll continue to mine the depths as we open to grief.

In today’s video, I tell a story about a time when I was full of ruminating, judgmental, snarky thoughts at a family birthday party. When I sat with my heart and with these thoughts, what I found underneath was what Carl Jung calls the “unlived life.” In my case, it was grief – sorrow and heartbreak that had been unattended and unacknowledged. In opening to my heartbreak, and in inviting in this unlived life, the judgmental thoughts softened and dissipated.

Now here’s something fascinating – in writing this bit for you, my computer’s autocorrect kept changing the word “unlived” into “unloved.” How curious.

You can try this when you notice your mind spinning and stewing in judgmental thoughts about your weight, your eating, and more. Bring warmth and curiosity, and move into your heart. See if you can see what’s underneath. Perhaps there is sorrow asking for your attention and care. Perhaps there is something to be grieved and loved upon.

As one friend said to me, “Digested grief is some of the best food for the soul.”

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